Dear Like a High School Crush,
Let’s just truncate that to Darling shall we?
Okay, so I see where this is going and in large part I agree. Why go around and around when action would make all of this talk mean something right?
I don’t think I would have done the self-assessment that I have if it were not for you. I mean, it sucks to hear the blatant truth of your reality and to know that you are telling the truth as you know it. Perhaps I have been inconsiderate of what your reality entails because I have been so busy trying to see how my side looks and how I feel like I was not in the wrong just because I did not want to see what I was doing in that light.
That was selfish of me. If I were you and our places had been switched, I know that I would feel toyed with and angry. I would resent you with every fiber of my being because there you are, so beautiful and wonderful and beckoning. Then turning me away like a snooty cheerleader who only asked me out on a dare.
I get that now.
I feel sick to my stomach knowing that I produced that feeling in you because I swore I would never be that person. And then the real problem begins because you see… I like you.
In fact the more we argue and you call me on my crap, the more I like you. Not that being called a jerk in no certain terms isn’t horrible, but the way that you do it is not to attack me. It’s like you’re convinced that it is possible I understand you, not just as a woman, but as a person. You’ve got it in your mind that if I never get to know you at all and you truly have to give up caring for me because you feel degraded somehow by hanging on any longer, like you will have your way at least one time and have me know who you are in this moment. No matter how short that moment is.
That’s hot. It’s actually kind of exciting. I almost want to have a live face to face argument with you just so I can see the fire in your feisty personality come out. I have always been one of those people who like to be the bratty brother that works on your nerves just to see what you will do.
So, and I realize it should not have taken all of this to get there but now that I am totally engaged in the passion of your feelings even though it makes me the bad guy, I have to ask. Will you have coffee with me?
You can say no if you want. But, I will just keep asking because now I think I am just as allured by you as you once were with me.
And you will find that you are not the only one who can be stubborn.