Episode 3 – Mandy
(A letter to Elle from Troy.)
I really tried to save Mandy. I heard you got the letter she wrote to her mother. I tried to push her away because I was going to destroy the story she wrote. She was too close to the truth though. Primus had Caleb intercept me as I tried to run away with her locked in my trunk. Someone must have seen me entrance her and stuff her in there. I left her a pen and paper to write a note to her parents, and a flashlight and water.
She’s a smart girl. She left the letter under mat near the spare tire so when I got my car back it was still there.
Caleb uh, he… (sobbing tearlessly) he drank her to death, then dismembered her dead body and fed her to the Orions.
That was the last mission I took – over sixty years ago. I held on to that letter. I had to wait until Judy wasn’t a threat or at least lived a full life before I told her the truth. I waited until she was in a convalescent home, with dementia, where no one would listen even if she screamed at the top of her lungs about a cold case the cops never pursued because the chief at that time was a vampire who knew what had really happened.
I threw myself into my work and bit (flatlined) a protégé so he could take my Casanova missions. I’d claim all of the credit of course so Primus wouldn’t know I was disobeying. I think he knew but just didn’t care. I knew when the day came for the bitten immortal girl mission he would call me and I would have to do that one myself.
I had just settled down with my 85th human wife Annibelle… who now hates me. I practiced on Grace to make sure I hadn’t lost my touch.
But I knew.
I hate Lorena! I hate that she is the reason that my best friend Paul would turn his back on his people – on me! Worst of all. Just seeing her pictures. I can tell. He couldn’t help himself.
Paul has never ever been in love before. So, this being his first love will make anything I ever do pale in comparison and Lorena will stand there looking into his eyes thinking “Troy who?” First love will beat me.
I hate her! I hate that he loves her so much that he would destroy all that we have worked for. But most of all… I hate that he is justified. I hate her because she’s worth everything he is trying to do and I got the lucky pick of the draw to be her placeholder until he comes along and takes her from me.
I hate the sick feeling in my gut that I’m not going to do any better by her than I did by Mandy. And Paul’s revolt against us all is worth the effort and I still have nothing to show for myself even though I have spent how many centuries making a living out of being loved by women. I hate that.
And Mandy will never get the apology she deserves. I look back now at that letter and I can see so much that I was just blind to before. I try to remember what frame of mind I was in. Now that I have had a descent exposure to being in a loving mode due to Belle, I look at some of the things I said to Mandy and I think, Holy crap.
No wonder she was screaming. What the hell else was she supposed to do? If that’s how I was with her, then no wonder she was angry all of the time, ready to pounce with her claws out. How else was she supposed to be when everyday she expected me to rip her heart out?
And the worse part is that I didn’t think anything of it. Just being honest, like with Grace. But, to see the words in print and know the pain that she suffered behind them and the shame that she carried…
Somehow her being dead, and me being absolved from having to face her is worse than facing her with the apology she is owed.