Vampires with disastrous private lives…
(A letter to Elle from Caleb.)
Pilath was angry when I left the house this morning. We talked… well yelled sort of. She told me that she felt like I had put her in her place and that her feelings had to be resolved on my timing and by my decision. That sounded so insensitive and harsh. Like I would be that uncaring. But, at the same time she was right. That is exactly what I was doing. I think the thing I hate the most about it is that she sees me exactly for who and what I am and says the things I’d prefer to seem as charming instead of how vile it really feels to her. However, I could not afford to have a 50 year fight with her. Pilath’s temper is legendary and I would rather tell her to get over it and live than to continue to fight and drag out something neither one of us can do anything about.
She hates the prospect of becoming human because it makes her feel helpless. I hate that I would probably choose to become human if I could just to be normal again. Pilath says she felt like I was choosing to leave her in immortality and that I would rather the temporary happiness that mortality has to offer instead of her perpetual love until the end of time. She could not help but feel abandoned by my desires. I am the only person she has ever truly loved in over 300 years and yet I would choose to leave her if I could. It was so black and white for her. She didn’t hear me and understand what I meant.
I told her about how life should be lived just once and as fully as possible and that she was the only reason I could see that now. I wanted her to be mortal with me for however long we could. Still, a mortal life was not long enough for her. A mere 60 years of happiness with me is nothing compared to a few hundred to make up for the time she has been hurt and alone. I feel that 60 years is not meager, but she only feels robbed.
I don’t know if I’ll be coming home after leaving today. Not because she would change the locks on me but because of this mission. I was drunk on power for so long and then I encountered Pilath’s love and more than anything it just reminded me of how badly I wanted a marriage and happiness with her without vampire citizenship to get in the way. But, then I saw Lorena.
This girl is only 19. She has no idea what she does to vampire men at all. I can see the rest of my existence in her eyes and long for it. I can’t fault Paul for falling for her or even Troy for enjoying the job of seducing her. But, we have our orders.
I know that Troy has bitten her. I know that Primus does not know this and that no one thought anything about Paul falling in love with her until the immortals, the alive ones, started targeting this girl for pickup. Since she has been bitten, and if she truly is an immortal, then their telepathy could have kicked in and she may already know how to kill us.
Highly unlikely though, I mean only a few humans figured out that Holy objects can kill a vampire. I doubt that Lorena knows that this doesn’t just apply to the obvious stuff and that she could bless a teaspoon and it would kill me.
I don’t think that Lorena knows anything is amiss. She’s just this beautiful young thing that’s in love with Troy… like so many before her. And she probably doesn’t even know what she really is. Otherwise, she would have shown up making demands. I would have.
Paul followed her for a month (that we know of) and Primus thought it best to investigate who this girl was and bring Troy in before capturing Paul. But, he disappeared. He must have felt us ready to strike. Paul has been reported to have been living with monks over that last century or so. We have monitored him to make sure he was still killing regularly enough to not break mandate and progress towards redemption. You have to kill at least twice a year to stay under the radar and not be considered a traitor who is trying to take God up on his offer and become human again.
It is only because of this girl that he has been disobedient for the last year. And now… I get to be the lucky one to go and nab him, bring him in, and watch my glorious return to humanness die in front of me and probably by my own hands. Primus learned a thing or two about cruelty during his tour of Hades.
We have a lead in Peru, Rome, and Tokyo. As much as I think Paul returned to his hometown in Japan I have a sinking feeling that he may actually be in Peru with one of our historians.
Two vampires disobeyed mandate and returned to human beings before Paul began the process of trying. He is the last one who could redeem us all. The first one who pulled off this amazing feat was flatlined in Peru. So that is where I will begin my hunt.