(Amelia’s letter and Bryan’s help)
I miss you. I’m sorry that things didn’t work out between us. I regret that I never found out what happened to so severely damage our friendship. Things were looking truly promising. We got along really well, we enjoyed each other’s company, we felt comfortable around each other… I don’t know what happened.
You were there and then you were gone. I’m sure there was lots of talk around what happened but I never heard any of it to get even the slightest glimpse of what went wrong. The light switch was flipped and we went from on to off. Even us being on speaking terms. We could barely manage a hello.
I think what made me the most angry was that no matter what it was YOU never came to me and said “hey I heard this about you,” or “people are saying one thing or another,” or anything. ANYTHING. If you had said anything instead of just turning your back on me I would have felt better, like at least I had your respect. Like at least you thought enough of me as a person to tell me something.
But no. Nothing. Not a word to this day. And still barely a “Hello.”
I think anger blinded the hurt and I was glad for it because it did hurt. But now I’m in a mess. I’m in one hell of a hot spot. I can’t and won’t and don’t blame you about this. I would have kissed you before leaving for this supposed adventure if things had worked out. So I would be in this mess regardless.
But, at least I’d get to talk to you. At least I could call and hear the soothing sound of your voice and not feel like I’m here all alone knowing that no one is out there waiting for me and hoping for my safe return. I have this fear. Like if I died down here today that I would just be someone you knew once upon a time that you heard passed away in a hellhole. Died in a pit somewhere.
Would that justify walking away from me I wonder. Would you think “Oh well that’s too bad but all the things I heard about her and never told her about must have been true and because she’s the kind of person who would wind up dead in a pit she wasn’t good enough for me so I’m glad I didn’t stay with her?”
Would you feel remorse like “Wow, I wished I had gotten to spend more time with Amelia. We were starting to feel better about each other every time there was a forced hello in passing.”
Nope. I think the truth is that you’re out there not thinking about me at all and yet every time I hear your name I feel a phantom punch in the gut. I think I want to survive just so I can leave here and restart my life as a total bad ass so when you hear of me you’ll be the one who feels that phantom gut punch that makes you rue the day you walked away without a single word.
Yeah, now I just have to survive fighting demons and blood sucking leeches who walk around feeding on people. Yay me.
I wish my thoughts were elsewhere. I can’t even get a vampire to marry me. Isn’t that sad? You left me without a word, a processor served me divorce papers, and now I’m forced to consider marrying a dragon. My best friend told me not to marry an immortal. But, did I listen? No, I had to be all crazy in love with you.
Even now I miss you. In a pit in the mountains of Asia about to fight something like Mortal Kombat with vampires I would kill for two words from you. It pisses me off to know that by feeling this way I must be truly heartbroken. And what woman, what person, with any pride would feel so hurt by someone who just picked up and left? Heartbroken and ashamed.
That’s the sorry state I will enter the arena in tomorrow. But, if I do happen to die I guess I just wanted to know that I had said good bye to you. Even if my good bye is just a crumpled note in my pocket that winds up blood soaked and unreadable.
Dear Joe, good bye.
-Amelia (not your last name anymore)
* * *
I felt a sense of grief wash over me. I had done something similar to my own wife when I left her. No one knows how she is because Maya just disappeared one day. Did she find herself in a similar mess with a similar note written to me?
I know I shouldn’t be rifling through Amelia’s things as she sleeps, but I have never worked with a Nephilim before and I certainly was never asked to marry one. The sad thing is that she considers marrying me scraping the bottom of the barrel in her walk of shame.
Do all divorced women feel this way at some point in time when the men do the leaving? I think I know the Joe she’s speaking of. I wonder if it is, then maybe since I cannot marry her I could at least do her the courtesy of saying what he could not and shedding some light on why she’s alone now.
“What are you doing?” Amelia asked as she rose from her slumber and promptly snatched the letter out of my hand.
“I was curious. Sorry.” I explained. I wanted to be apologetic because if it really was her Joe that I knew then I should be kind to her right now.
“Nosy. Maybe it’s a good thing we aren’t getting married Bryan. You’d find out all of my secrets.” She said yawning and tucking the letter back into her pocket.
“Yeah well… Hey is that Joe Brandt you were married to?” I began.
“Why do you know him?” She said surprised.
“Joe was an interesting guy. You’d be good together. I um, I know why he walked away though.” I continued. Her eyes narrowed like I saw some flaw in her that made her loneliness apparent. “He was trapped in a deal with the Siren.”
“What?” she asked perplexed.
“You were being hunted by Alistor, the half angel half vampire shape shifter and Joe was trying to lure him to the Siren hoping she would eat Alistor. But, he wound up being entranced by her and sent on a mission. Joe didn’t think he would survive and he didn’t want you to die with him, so he submitted the divorce paperwork and left. He’s in Crete with the immortals being patched up, but he may have amnesia.” I explained to her.
“How would you know any of this?” she asked nearly ready to cry.
“Alistor worked out of the same branch I do. I heard him gloating about what became of his would be doom. He mentioned what happened to the immortal that tried to save you, but he is still coming after you.” I continued.
“Hmm.” She said as she snuggled into her covers deep in thought.
I went back to sleep leaving her to sort out how she felt about all of this. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Joe died.
Or at least that’s what I heard.