Why brides are going fangless… Undead Bride

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Even though we have no reflection, and portrait painters using vampiri speed can have a decent set of wedding pictures painted and ready in about a day and a half; many brides are going fangless for their photos. This trend has caught Primus’ eye and he wants to know why.

Our inquiries yielded several results, none of which were treasonous. Our fearless fallen angel of a leader thought that women were denouncing their immortality or snubbing the graces that life as a flatliner afforded. We have found that this is simply not so.

There are five reasons brides have been going fangless. Let’s count down to the most popular one.

Reason #5: Fangs make me look hungry. Many brides complain that having their fangs exposed on their wedding day due to feeding makes them look like they are gluttonous and can’t stop drinking long enough to get married. They do not want to appear as though they do not have any will power.

Reason #4: I want my human friends to see my pictures. Many of our kind today have human companions that they entertain in their homes. Since social media and pictures give us away as having no reflection, we have to be able to show that while we don’t like social media for whatever reason we made up, that we do have photos of some sort. And most importantly, those photos look human.

Reason #3: It is hard to keep lipstick off my fangs. A wedding is a very public affair, even if you only invite the undead. There will be speeches, dancing, and a lot of well wishing. Going through all of that with perfect pink smudged all over your fangs takes away from all of the beauty you’ve invested, i.e. the dress, the hair, the make up, the nails… everything.

Reason #2: We promised we’d drink together after the wedding. The first drop of blood shared after the wedding is special and many of our couples have vowed to fast during the week preceding the wedding as a symbol of longing and chastity towards each other. As a result, both bride and groom are fangless until the wedding night.

Reason #1: I wanted to look like an innocent girl he had enchanted. The overwhelmingly popular reason is based on how hard it is to find a groom for both humans and vampires alike. Coming off like the strong, super powered, immortal that you are may have kept a lot of us single for far too long. So, walking down the aisle like an innocent, doe-eyed, entranced conquest of the groom not only feeds his ego but ensures he doesn’t let cold feet get the better of him.

No treason. Just girlish reasons.

-Staff Reporter

uNWIND

 

 

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