Best Honeymoon Ever!… Undead Bride

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Where can a newly married flatliner couple go to get away for two weeks or even two years for their honeymoon? There are several choices that humans remain unaware of. Let’s go through the most popular undead destinations of this century.

Featured above is the freshly remodeled hotel of Bilivoka. High above the clouds and breathable air where humans dare not hike.

Another mountainous adventure also lies where the air is thin. Yes, you guessed it… Mt. Everest. The Ever Rested Hotel was built at the peak with a standard hidden entrance with lavish views and luxurious rooms.


Our next location is also an icy one for you cold blooded cold lovers. Antartica is largely unexplored by humans and therefore has been a booming vacation spot for the Icy Clot Condo Timeshare, not to exceed 10 year reservations.


For those hot and steamy couples we have quite a treat for you. Opened only 69 years ago, the Sahara Mirage is a great get away. There is plenty of ice cold O negative and a stunning collection of perfectly aged blood clotted cheeses.


The secret entrance is located on a key map sent straight to your phone or traditional snail mail upon confirmation of your reservation.


For those who have just faked their deaths, we do have a lovely choice of underground accommodations.

The Crystal Caverns of Mexico provide both a secluded and long term rental of renovated caverns too deep for humans to safely explore.


Their rooms are both spacious and lavish with built in simulated sky and daylight.


The other underground choice for newlyweds are the Silenced Silos of Oklahoma where missile silos have been converted to vacation hot spots for our pulseless delights.

Lastly, our reader’s choice location comes from a place of bloody reverence and sacrifice… usually to a vampire on shift. The Mayan Sun Shed is one of a kind.


Climb to the top and take the elevator down to the amazing amenities within. The local menu is to die for.


As always, we invite you to share your experience so that each location can be properly rated for the current century. If you break it you buy it, and if you get caught feeding in public be sure to alert the concierge for immediate extraction (at no additional charge for the first two incidents).

-Staff Reporter

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