The cat is out of the bag… Delicious Data

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So yes, the cat is out of the bag. I mean, you weren’t supposed to know about vampires or living immortals in the first place were you? It’s all supposed to be this very mysterious fictional thing you only see on television, yet here we are. Such is the way of things. I cannot begin to tell you the number of stories that begin this way.

Like, this one time I wasn’t supposed to be dating the Boelyn girl who wound up seducing the king. I only came to know that she was in fact supposed to be dead and her true identity much later. The poor thing had been beheaded you see. Then in order to prepare her for her last rites the priests put her body on the table with her head on its shoulders. Well, the damn thing reattached and she woke up several hours later.

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Photo by Arthur Brognoli on

They of course could not spread the rumors that the woman who caused the king to separate from the Church was a living miracle. Nor did they know much of what happened in general because the whole execution was orchestrated by a vampire who worked within the king’s council.

You see, living immortals exist to attract vampires and lure them back to humanity. We smell like chocolate to them and on the undead short list of addictions is blood and chocolate. This advisor who shall remain nameless, because who cares who he was anyway, caught a whiff of Anne and began plotting against her immediately so he could drink her.

What vampires typically do not know, that I’m about to share with you, is that normal people can be triggered into living immortality if you are a descendant of the original immortal Anna. She came along much longer ago than we may know. Her recollection begins with the vikings, but really I think she was around before Arthur and Merlin.

person holding gypsum head covered with plastic bag
Photo by cottonbro on

Anyway, Boelyn was triggered, executed, healed and lived, and the vampire was so bewitched he took the amnesiac girl as his bride, but dare not drink her just in case he’d incur Primus’ wrath. Which he did, because he was stupid, at which point Neimus (my boss) found out about her and sent me to rescue her.

Long story short, we hit it off and have been together ever since. But, the take away here is that now that you have been hanging around vampires… you may have been triggered. You may have even been targeted because you carry genetic markers for it. You could be a living immortal and if that is the case, having a key to the vampire sanctum and the promise of a secret may not work out in your favor.

Just saying. New to the crew may not be all it’s cracked up to be.

-Ashton out


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