So, I spoke too soon. She enjoyed her little cupful of my blood so much that she did bite me. She bit right into my arm where she had cut me and practically sucked the life out of me. She didn’t even try to bury me, she just left me there lifeless… or so she thought.
Hours went by and I tried to remember what she looked like so I could compare her to the movies I had seen. She was a small frame, light skinned, tourist looking brunette with a flower print dress, freckles from the sun, and a certain allure. She was compelling, and pretty, and friendly, and I felt like I wanted to protect my friend from the creepy guy.
Why would I feel that way about a stranger? Maybe she used some sort of vampire magic on me or something. I sun went down, the crickets began to chirp, the drums from the feast on the beach with the fire eating guys and smell the roasted pig all wafted down to me from the beach as I decided against trying to muster up a scream. It wouldn’t matter if anyone found me, I’ll still be dead in a few hours anyway.
After a while the noise of all of the people died down and all I could hear were the waves crashing slow and steady in the background. I eventually sat up feeling woozy and struggled to focus my eyes. I do hope my daughter doesn’t come across a vampire and wind up dead on a beach like me. Hey, this was my vampire do over. This was totally boring compared to the last few ways I died. And less painful. I should have gone with this one first. Getting eaten by a shark sucked way more than this did.
As I started to feel stronger, I saw a light along the beach getting closer. Maybe someone walking with a flashlight. I guess someone will find me after all. I got up and began to walk towards the light feeling kind of cheated out of my horror movie death. This was almost easy.
As I grew closer to the light I could see that it was a flaming sword. Maybe he works for the resort and is practicing.
“Hey, do you have the time?” I shouted to him hoping he wasn’t going to finish me off with the sword and make me eat my words about how badly this didn’t suck.
“Yes. It is time for you to sit and listen.” he said sternly.
I’m going to walk away as quickly as I can without falling.
I turned around and he was standing in front of me in the blink of an eye. I stood there stunned. This is no ordinary guy with a sword. He’s an angel with a flaming sword. I immediately sat down and acted like listening was my mission in life.
“That’s better.” he said and sat on the sand with me. “You have been given a very interesting chance here. Normally I have a pretty specific message I give to people who have been bitten and turned into a vampire. But, this time the rules are a little different for you.”
I laughed out loud and snorted. “Me? A vampire? I’m supposed to be dead at 1:23 a.m.”
“Well, it is currently 1:25 a.m. And technically you are dead. But, because you started your day dead and came back to life here only to become undead, you were given a special task as part of all of this starting in Carl’s office.” he continued.
“You know Carl?” I asked amused.
“Everyone knows Carl. He said you may be a good contender for this task.” he said and waited.
I let the fact that I was still on earth even after I was technically dead sink in for a minute. I don’t have to not see my daughter again, I just have to explain how I’m suddenly alive again after all this time. Well, maybe not alive but…
“Usually I tell vampires that an angel was dragged into Hell during an assignment. He was tasked with capturing fallen angels who had spawned Nephilium to Hell and wound up trapped there himself. He made a deal with Lucifer to get out, a deal that gave him vampire venom trapping souls on earth and keeping them out of heaven. But, God gave vampires an out and said that if three of you would abstain from drinking blood, you could regain you humanity. All of you could regain it.” the angel told me.
“That’s actually really cool.” I said.
“That’s not the boat you’re in. You have your soul and you can have your humanity returned to you at anytime, but that would just send you back to heaven, because you were a dead human before this.” he explained.
“So, what do I do now?” I asked.
“Well, we have a job for you. Some friends of the undead have been killing innocent people. Vampires have been experimenting with the underworld for centuries and people need to be avenged, they require justice. Carl said that you would be a good choice to give that task to.” the angel continued.
“You want me to stay down here as a vampire and hunt other vampires?” I asked.
“We want you to avenge people who have been killed by other people that vampires experimented on. You know, like Baba Yaga, Leatherface, and other criminals who killed for fun. Killed children and ate them. Their blood cries out for justice. Will you deliver it to them?” he continued.
“So… you want me to kill monsters?” I clarified.
“Yes.” he replied matter of factly.
This vampire thing just got awesome.